MARATHON

Looking back at the days when Matildas fate was still uncertain. It was absolutely excruciating leading up to her delivery. I was paralyzed with Fear. We had to go see the fetal care specialist once a week. I remember the week leading up to Matildas birth. It was snowing and ice storms......not to be confused with actual ice storms......these were Texas ice storms which meant a little bit of ice and a lot of panic! As the fetal care specilaist assessed Matilda with the test they had. It was always well she wont run a marathon but she will be ok. The day before I had Matilda I saw Dr. Youst. She did a test to see what Matilda's breathing was like in utero since technically they don't have to breath. She put this vibration on my belly and she said now this is going to also test to see if Matilda will sleep in when her alarm goes off or hit the ground running. She then turned on the vibration and Matilda woke up right away and you could see her chest breath in and out. It was such a beautiful sight to see that in case Matilda never did get to breath on her own on the outside I would at least get to see this glimpse on the inside. It was beautiful! And Dr. Youst said this is so good!!! She is going to be fine and you tell me in 10 years if she sleeps in or not. I left the office relieved but still petrified with fear.
And then she was born....in the NICU for six weeks and still heard the same "She won't run a Marathon but she is going to go home". So in my head I thought ok we will put her in music classes, art, anything where she isn't running. Then I would get sad as I knew she would want to run after Freddie, play team sports, I was relieved she couldn't run after boys! I knew I would have to tell her it is unfair that she has to be still, but how grateful she should be that we are even able to have this conversation.
On Monday we had a follow-up appt with the pulmonologist. This was to decide if he wanted to see her once a year. She never actually saw a pulmonologist while in the NICU so I was curious as to what Dr. Copenhaver had to say.
Matilda was cheesing it big time smiling and talking to all the staff at the office.  Dr. Copenhaver went over her history with me which he was very happy with her progress. Then came the big part where he listened to her. I actually couldn't breath as I was so nervous, he was going to have something bad to say. He looked at the med student that was with him and said sounds absolutely normal. I said "SHE DOES?!" He looked at me and said if she wants to run a Marathon one day she can! I got a little tear in my eye but held it together because I don't ugly cry in front of strangers and I don't think Dr. Copenhaver knew what the word MARATHON meant to me. He then said ok I don't want to see her unless you need to see me! Which again I held it together.
 I know we don't know what the future holds for Matilda as she is at risk for different things. But I am so grateful that we need to call them, and that she doesn't have to be followed up. Matilda is still such a happy baby. She only ever crys if she is hungry......but don't we all! It's as if she knows how lucky she is.......and for that she is so grateful. She is my role model. I strive to be as brave as she has been. The Irony is Matilda is already running her marathon and we just need to keep up with her.

love to you all!